Frequently Asked Questions
How do you define domestic violence?
Abuse is a pattern of physically and emotionally violent and coercive behaviors that one person uses to exercise power and control over another.
What are some myths surrounding domestic violence?
Myth: A man’s home is his castle and he can behave however he wants.
Fact: Not true. When his behavior is harmful or abusive to his family, society has a right to intervene just as it would if he abused a stranger.
Myth: Women deserve to be battered – sometimes they ask for it.
Fact: No one deserves to be abused. People who abuse are responsible for their own actions – it is not the fault of the person who is victimized.
Myth: Battering only occurs in families that are poor and uneducated.
Fact: Statistics show that domestic violence crosses all socio-economic, educational, religious and ethnic lines.
How prevalent is domestic violence?
- Every 15 seconds a woman is battered in the United States.
- Every five years domestic violence kills as many women as the total number of Americans who died in the Vietnam War.
- Domestic violence is the single largest cause of injury to women in the United States, more common than injuries sustained from car accidents, muggings and rapes combined.
- Thirty-five percent of women who seek treatment at hospital emergency rooms are there for symptoms of ongoing abuse.
- Violence will occur at least once in two-thirds of all marriages.
- Ten women per day are killed by their partners.
- It is estimated that 52% of all female homicide victims are killed by their partners.
- Six million women per year are assaulted by their partners.
- Each year in Ohio, 88,000-115,000 adults are physically abused by a current or former partner; 21,800 people are arrested for intimate partner violence; 18,822 people file petitions for civil protection order and 3,998 adults seek shelter in domestic violence shelters.
How does intimate partner violence (IPV) compare to other threats among adult women in our 6 counties?
- In Crawford County 230-310 adult women experience physical IPV while 124 are injured in motor vehicle crashes, 111 mothers are without 1st semester prenatal care and 118 are diagnosed with cancer.
- In Delaware County 760-1,000 adult women experience physical IPV while 633 are injured in motor vehicle crashes, 443 mothers are without 1st semester prenatal care and 286 are diagnosed with cancer.
- In Marion County 310-420 adult women experience physical IPV while 279 are injured in motor vehicle crashes, 245 mothers are without 1st semester prenatal care and 188 are diagnosed with cancer.
- In Morrow County 170-230 adult women experience physical IPV while 146 are injured in motor vehicle crashes, 124 mothers are without 1st semester prenatal care and 65 are diagnosed with cancer.
- In Union County 240-320 adult women experience physical IPV while 161 are injured in motor vehicle crashes, 152 mothers are without 1st semester prenatal care and 97 are diagnosed with cancer.
- In Wyandot County 110-150 adult women experience physical IPV while 59 are injured in motor vehicle crashes, 53 mothers are without 1st semester prenatal care and 68 are diagnosed with cancer.
What is the cost to society?
- Annual health care costs for treatment of injuries due to domestic violence are estimated to be between 5 and 10 billion dollars.
- 2 1/2 billion dollars of health insurance benefits are spent annually on injuries from domestic violence.
How can I recognize an unhealthy relationship? (Click here for Red Flags)
- Your partner is jealous and possessive of you. Won’t let you have friends. Checks up on you. Won’t accept breaking up.
- Your partner tries to control you by being bossy, giving orders and/or making all the decisions. Doesn’t take your opinion seriously.
- Your partner is scary. You worry about how they will react to things you say or do. Threatens you. Uses or owns weapons.
- Your partner blames you when they mistreat you. Says you provoked them, pressed their buttons, made them do it or lead them on.
- Your partner pressures you for sex. Is forceful or scary about sex. Thinks women and girls are sex objects.
What are signs of a healthy relationship?
- Your partner trusts you.
- Your partner accepts your friends and family without jealousy.
- Your partner allows for your individuality.
- Your partner allows for growth and change without being threatened.
- Your partner does not attempt to control or change you.
- Your partner encourages self-sufficiency.
- Your partner encourages high self-esteem in both of you.
What are common ploys used by abusers which frequently play on the victim’s emotions of fear, guilt, concern and trust?
- Threats of suicide. Threatens to kill the victims, the children or counselors.
- Files a missing person’s report to enlist the help of police to track down the survivor.
- Threats of legal actions, such as taking away the survivor’s child custody.
- Harassing or threatening relatives or friends.
- Burns clothes or belongings as symbolic gesture.
- Crying, saying they can’t live without partner.
- Promises to get counseling.
- Becomes suddenly religious.
What keeps someone in an abusive relationship?
- Threats of harm
- Children want both parents/pressure from children
- Money/financial problems
- Hope it’s going to improve/hope they’ll change
- Fear of physical harm
- Treats of harm
- Fear of losing children
- Low self-esteem
- Nowhere to go
- Threats of suicide by abuser
- Completely isolated
If a victim actually does leave, their problems are not always solved. An abuser stands to lose a lot, too, if their partner leaves. They lose their relationship, which is often necessary for their identity. They lose their partner, which is their scapegoat and living proof of their power and superiority. And unfortunately, some abusers would rather kill their partners than allow them to leave.
What are some of the effects of family violence on the victims?
- Isolation from others
- Increased substance abuse
- Emotional problems
- Low self-esteem
- Illness, pain, injuries
- Permanent physical damage
What are some of the effects of family violence on the children?
- Emotional problems
- Illness and injuries
- Developmental delays
- Repetition of abusive behavior
- Decreased self-esteem
- Belief that violence is their fault
What are some of the effects of family violence on the offenders?
- Belief that power and control are achieved through abuse (violence)
- Increased contact with criminal justice system
- Superficial relationships
- Anxiety, stress
- Loss of intimacy
What are some of the effects of family violence on society?
- Increased crime
- Increased medical, legal, police and counseling costs
- Cost of incarceration
- Decreased quality of life
- Community problems: crime, drugs, alcohol, abuse, runaway teens and suicide.
Can Turning Point help victims find an attorney?
Turning point has a good working relationship with Legal Aid and area attorneys. We have a listing of attorneys who will take cases pro bono (free) or at a reduced rate. They also know who will work with victims to set up a payment plan.
What rights do victims have regarding child custody?
Turning Point has access to the latest statues regarding custody rights. For example, according to the Ohio Revised Code Section 3109.042, an unmarried female who gives birth to a child is the sole residential parent and legal custodian of the child until a court of competent jurisdiction issues an order designating another person. See DV Law
How can the victim keep the abuser away from her/him?
Turning Point can explain the difference between the various types of protection orders. A Temporary Protection Order is issued after criminal charges have been filed by the state. A Civil Protection Order is obtained through Common Pleas Courts by the victim petitioning the court. Turning Point advocates accompany the victims through the entire legal process and provide support to them. See Protection Orders
What can I do if I know someone who is being abused?
- Ask direct questions, giving them ample opportunity to talk.
- Listen without judging. Victims feel responsible, ashamed and inadequate.
- Explain that violence in a relationship is never acceptable at any time.
- If you see or hear an assault in progress, call the police.
- If the victim decides to remain in the relationship, continue to be their friend while at the same time firmly communicating there is no excuse for abuse.
- Provide information about local resources.
- Emphasize that if they leave the situation help is available.
What counties are served by Turning Point?
Crawford, Delaware, Marion, Morrow, Union and Wyandot